In order to achieve more participation and understanding from people - you will have to coordinate your life and work with the lives and work of other people, we all need to know more of what other people are feeling and thinking, wanting and planning.
But how do you open-up people??
Friends - Our usual “yes/no” questions actually tend to shut people up rather than opening them up. In order to encourage your conversation partners to share more of their thoughts and feelings, ask “open-ended” rather than “yes/no” questions. Open-ended questions allow for a wide range of responses. For example, asking “How did you like that food/movie /speech/presentation/etc.?” will evoke a more detailed response than “Did you like it?” (which could be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”).
When we ask questions we are using a powerful language tool to focus conversational attention and guide our interaction with others.
When we ask questions we are using a powerful language tool to focus conversational attention and guide our interaction with others.
But many of the questions we have learned to ask are totally fruitless and self-defeating (such as, parents to a pregnant teen, “Why???!!! Why have you done this to us???!!!”).
In general it will be more fruitful to ask “how” questions about the future rather than “why” questions about the past, but there are many more creative possibilities as well.
Open-ended questions are very helpful in solving problems together.
To master this - you have to develop the courage to hear honest and candid answers to our questions - to face the truth of what other people are feeling. Also, learning to be comfortable with the process of looking at a situation from different perspectives, and learning to accept that people often have needs, views and tastes different from your own.
Sincerely asked open-ended questions can open up our conversation partners.
Your questions decide the level of participation and openness from your conversation partner.
To master this - you have to develop the courage to hear honest and candid answers to our questions - to face the truth of what other people are feeling. Also, learning to be comfortable with the process of looking at a situation from different perspectives, and learning to accept that people often have needs, views and tastes different from your own.
Sincerely asked open-ended questions can open up our conversation partners.
Your questions decide the level of participation and openness from your conversation partner.
