Translate your (and other people’s) complaints and criticisms into specific requests, and explain your requests.
In order to get more cooperation from others, whenever possible ask for what you want by using specific, action-oriented, positive language...
Do not use generalizations “why’s,” “don’ts” or “somebody should’s.”
Help your listeners comply by explaining your requests with a “so that...”, “it would help me to... if you would...” or “in order to... .”
Also, when you are receiving criticism and complaints from others, translate and restate the complaints as action requests. ....”).
To succeed in this - you have to develop a very strong sense of self-esteem that you can accept being turned down, and learning how to imagine creative solutions to problems, solutions in which everyone gets at least some of their needs met.
Translating criticisms and complaints into requests and explaining the positive results of having your request granted. Do this for both your own complaints and the complaints that others bring to you.
Focusing on the positive outcome shows respect to the recipient of a request as having a positive contribution to make, and shifts focus from past mistakes to present and future successes.
