Yesterday morning I accidentally hit my 8 year old son with my bag as I was coming through the door.
He said "Oh Papa you hit me!"
I responded with, "Sorry beta - But I didn't mean it"
"But you did hit me Papa. You hit me and it hurts."
"But I didn't mean it son - so its not my fault - why are you cracking up at me? and I said sorry - OK???"
On my way to office - then I realized that actually No - it's not OK.
Whether it is intentional or not it needs to be recognized as pain that you have caused another. It really does. He had a little red mark on his forehead and it was in fact my doing.
Whether I meant to do it or not.
So yesterday evening when i reached home - I leaned forward and asked him to show me the mark. I then gave him a Magic Kiss - without any words - without any if's and but's. I said I was really sorry then gave him a big hug. No more was spoken about it.
It was a really easy thing to do. Much easier than arguing and saying -"It's not my fault because I didn't mean it!" Yes - a lot of things are not intentional but they still need to be recognized as pain.
....and then he kissed me back and said - "It's OK papa - nothing has happened to me - i know you didn't mean it - please don't say sorry"
And more then often it will be a emotional hurt that causes most damage to relationships rather then the physical hurt.
How hard is it to just face someone, kiss them or hug them or shake hands or look into their eyes and apologize?
He said "Oh Papa you hit me!"
I responded with, "Sorry beta - But I didn't mean it"
"But you did hit me Papa. You hit me and it hurts."
"But I didn't mean it son - so its not my fault - why are you cracking up at me? and I said sorry - OK???"
On my way to office - then I realized that actually No - it's not OK.
Whether it is intentional or not it needs to be recognized as pain that you have caused another. It really does. He had a little red mark on his forehead and it was in fact my doing.
Whether I meant to do it or not.
So yesterday evening when i reached home - I leaned forward and asked him to show me the mark. I then gave him a Magic Kiss - without any words - without any if's and but's. I said I was really sorry then gave him a big hug. No more was spoken about it.
It was a really easy thing to do. Much easier than arguing and saying -"It's not my fault because I didn't mean it!" Yes - a lot of things are not intentional but they still need to be recognized as pain.
....and then he kissed me back and said - "It's OK papa - nothing has happened to me - i know you didn't mean it - please don't say sorry"
And more then often it will be a emotional hurt that causes most damage to relationships rather then the physical hurt.
How hard is it to just face someone, kiss them or hug them or shake hands or look into their eyes and apologize?
